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Doctor Who Returns!/Old Days
Script The Doctor, Katy and Maria walk into The TARDIS. The Doctor: Right ladies, this is The TARDIS. It can travel anywhere in time and space. Right then, where do we want to go, what do you want to see? Katy: 2050! The Doctor: Oh no! In that year, Football becomes banned and J.K.Rowling dies. Maria: In that case, 2550. The Doctor: Are you sure you want to see the New Stone Age? Lets go to 3050 AD! In that year, H.G.Wells is brought back to life! Maria: Okay, then. The Doctor gets The TARDIS controls in action. The Doctor: Oh no! A Time Agent accidentally bounced us too far into the Time Vortex. We're going to crash! Katy: OH NO!!!! The TARDIS crash lands on Nerva. The Doctor: Everyone all right? Katy and Maria: Yes. Maria heads for the door. The Doctor: Wait a moment! You can't go dressed like that, people will call you old-fashioned. Go to The TARDIS wardrobe. Its two doors on the left, down the corridoor, fifth door on the right, past the lift and straight ahead. On the left from there is the female changing room. God's sake, just do it! Katy and Maria run to do it. The Doctor: And I go to my personal wardrobe. 10 minutes later... The Doctor comes out of his wardrobe. He is wearing a tweed jacket with a purple bow tie. He is wearing short trousers and green tights. He is also wearing a funny shaped hat and red and blue 3D glasses. His shoes are yellow velcro. Katy and Maria come back wearing even stranger clothes. The Doctor: Now that we are wearing the right clothes, we can go out. I do need to warn you though, it is 3050 AAD. Maria: What? The Doctor: This is after The Second Coming Of Jesus. Therefore it is AAD. Katy: I'm Jewish Mr.Doctor. The Doctor: Well every religion is wrong. The Big Bang started it all. The trio walk out The TARDIS doors. The Doctor: We are on The Nerva Beacon. Fine food, great wine and an excellent sunbeam. Maria: So we're supposed to... The Doctor: You see Maria, space travel is like visiting the US. Eat the pretzels, say the wrong thing, find more info on The American Revlution, watch the new Toy Story film and of course learn the names of all 50 states. The only one I can remember is Alaska. Nice place. Then again, its changed a lot since the old days. Katy: But what do I do? The Doctor: Walk around and see what captures your interest. The three split up. The Doctor goes to the Market and buys a Brain Ring. The Doctor: Excuse Me, how much for a Brain Ring? Stall Keeper: 10 Stone, mate. A special one is 20 Stone. The Doctor: Money, I need money. The Doctor eyes a cash machine, he uses the Sonic Screwdriver to get out 100,000,0 Stone. He walks back. The Doctor: 2 special Brain Rings please. Stall Keeper: Wow, mate. 40 stone is a lot of money. The Doctor: I'm Doctor John Smith from Earth, I am very rich. Stall Keeper: What have you cured, mate? The Doctor: The Spanish Owatta was my big break. I was in all the newspapers. Stall Keeper: You might find yourself in our Newspaper Archive, every newspaper in the universe is in there. The Doctor: I'll look. Meanwhile, Maria is at The Beauty Parlor. Beauty Advisor: I'm thinking that we need to get rid of those two big fat things ethier side of your face. Maria: Those are my cheeks, Madam. Beauty Advisor: Spray your hair with Purple Spray every morning and before bed. Maria: Where do I get that? Beauty Advisor: For 15 stone You can have an operation causing you never to be fat again! Maria: Why are you giving random bits of advice? Beauty Advisor: I can take your teeth out. Maria looks behind The Beauty Advisor and sees she is a plugged-in-robot. Maria pulls the plug. Meanwhile Katy is at Ye Old Betting Shop. Random Man: Hello. Katy: I think I'll bet 800 pounds for that Cezweezer. Random Man: Well love, on this space sation we have stone instead of pounds. Katy: I'll bet 800 stone for that Cezweezer then. The Doctor walks into Ye Old Betting Shop. The Doctor: Hi, Katy! Got you a soviener! Katy: What is it Mr.Doctor? The Doctor: A special Brain Ring. All your thoughts can be transferred into this Ring you will never have to talk again! Katy thinks into the ring. The Doctor: It works! Maria goes to The Great Hall Of Mirrors. Maria: Do I really look that'' fat?'' The Mirror Man sneaks into the mirror. Suddenly Maria changes to a fat five year old. Maria: Wahhhhhhh! I'm fat! Maria, tears in her eyes runs to find The Doctor. Maria: Doctor!!! Doctor!! Doctor!!! The Doctor: Oops. A perfect day out and it's been ruined. I can never just have a blooming day out. Maria runs up to The Doctor. Maria: Doctor!! I was at The Great Hall Of Mirrors and I just went young again. The Doctor: Oh dear! Katy thinks into her Brain Ring. The Doctor: That's right Katy! We need to find out who did that. The giant Hologrid screen stops playing and someone invisible starts speaking. The Mirror Man: Greetings! I am The Mirror Man! My brother The Mirror Man lives in The Great Hall Of Mirrors. Anyway, I will rise the tempreture by 100 degrees a minute. After 15 minutes Nerva will burn up! Meanwhile myslef, The Mirror Man, The Mirror Girl and The Mirror Girl will escape in your only escape pod. Unless you can get to the temperature to get cool again you will all die! Over and out! Katy: Oh no! The Doctor: Right, you two go to the ship's basement and get the coolers to fridge setting. I will get the fuel bottle back on track. The trio run. Katy and Maria get into the lift and press the B button. Katy: Right Miss Prince, we will go down there, we will re-set the coolers, we will find Mr. Doctor. Understand? Maria: Yes. The lift stops. Katy: Oh dear. Maria: Wait a minute! Remember when we were in 2012, The Doctor gave us sonic screwdrivers! We can use them to go down! Katy: Why yes! Come on then. Maria and Katy use the sonic screwdrivers to get down. Maria: Yay! Katy and Maria get out of the lift. Maria: We have to get all the way over there past the fans. Katy: Let's crawl under the fans. Katy and Maria crawl under. Suddenly, Katy stops. Katy: I can't go on! I think I've got radiation sickness! Maria: I'll go without you! Maria keeps crawling on. She later re-sets the cooler to fridge setting. Her cell phone starts ringing, it's The Doctor. Maria: Hello. How did you get this number? The Doctor: Maria Prince, do You think that I would be able to travel in time and space without a phone? Maria: Doctor, come quickly. Katy's dying from radiation sickness! The TARDIS lands suddenly and The Doctor walks out. The Doctor: Katy! I think you need a Doctor! Katy: But there is no Doctor on board, I checked the list! The Doctor: I think that I can save you. The Doctor gives Katy The Kiss Of Life. The Doctor gets radiation sickness. The Doctor: I'm dying! Katy: Mr. Doctor! You saved my life! Katy lifts The Doctor into The TARDIS. The Doctor: Use your sonics to bring the escape pod back! Then use my gun to destroy them! Maria: We don't know how! The Doctor: Sonic screwdrivers can reverse teleportation devices. Use them. Katy and Maria use thier sonic screwdrivers and the escape pod re-appears. The Mirror Man: So you brought me back eh? Well I will rise the temperature by 100,000 degrees a second. After five seconds you will die! Maria pushes The Mirror Man into the mirror. Maria: Now change me back or I will kill you! The Mirror Man quickly ages Maria to 24. Maria: You know, I was going to let all four go but now.. Maria pushes The Mirror Man's siblings off. The Mirror Man: No no no no no no no!!!! Maria pushes the mirror off. The Doctor: Get into The TARDIS. Katy and Maria get into The TARDIS. The Doctor: I'm dying! Katy: Mr.Doctor, what can we do to help You? The Doctor: Take me to Victorian London. The Paternoster Gang will help me. Vastra, Jenny and a Sontaran called Strax! Category:POMfannumber1